#1: Good Hair

Almost every culture celebrates a long mane of hair, and black people are no different. However, Black people are different in that they most value a texture of hair that is completely opposite of their own.

Blacks have the most unique hair in the world, in that their hair is thick and often a bit coarse. This allows them to do many different things with their hair that White people may try, but fail miserably at wearing (dreadlocks, cornrows, braids, afros).

But Blacks have found that wearing these styles in the workplace makes White people feel threatened. To fix this, for decades their brightest scientists have worked furiously to create products that can induce the straight, silky hair texture of White America. In fact, most Black women will endure fiery burning, itching, and risk going bald every 6 weeks in order to achieve this texture.

However, many Black people’s hair just will not cooperate, even with straightening and chemicals. This has led to their obsession with so-called “good hair”.

Having good hair essentially means that a black person has another ethnic background which contributes to the silkiness of his or her hair [this explains the onslaught of black people claiming they have Indian in their family]. Black people secretly love interracial unions because the children are almost always blessed with the “most good” hair. They prefer a union of Black and Latino, but even a Black and White mixture will result in a child that everyone adores for their silky locks .

However, White people should not be mistaken in the belief that their hair is “the good hair”. Only Latinos or Black + Ethnicity apply in this category. Black people will not allow themselves to covet 100% Caucasian-grade hair.

Should you ever be out with Black friends who don’t have this good hair and you want to appear “down”, it is important that you do not touch their hair or comment on its texture. While you may see this as a compliment, it only exposes how rarely you have hung out with black people. In some cases, your fascination will be seen as m0re of an insult.

Note: People with normal black hair can also be considered to have “good hair” as long as it is manageable (a small toothed comb can be run through it easily) and past the shoulders. Those who have gone natural and grown afros or dreadlocks will also be admired by the Black community, although few will follow in their footsteps.