Have you ever sat at the movies, trying to enjoy the latest Die Hard/Star Wars/Lord of the Rings installation, when your soon-to-be favorite movie was ruined by the sole group of Black people in the theater? If you were dumb enough to confront the rowdy group, you were not-so-pleasantly surprised to be on the receiving end of scowls and/or constant heckling throughout the rest of the show.
Why is this, you ask? Because black people love audience participation.
Black people like to be heard. Centuries of having their voices withheld by White society have led to them acting out in the most formal of events. Even those who know enough to stay quiet during predominantly White events will change their colors when around their fellow Black people. So have it in your mind to expect people start shouting right at the pivotal point of a show, preventing you from hearing anything that’s going on.
If they miss anything while making their ruckus, they can just ask the person in the next row what happened [thereby ruining the viewing experience for yet another unsuspecting soul].
This philosophy applies to concerts, as well. There is a direct correlation to the amount of audience participation and the success of the concert– the less the artist has to sing himself, the more they enjoy the show. It is written in Black Code that in order to be a successful musician, you must constantly have the crowd sing your lyrics for you while holding the mic out and raising one hand to your ear.
Should you ever attend a black event with friends, be sure to match the amount of noise the Black spectator next to you is making. They will look at you as the cool white guy and probably invite you to future events. But take care to not draw undue attention to yourself–an awkward lone outburst will invite humiliation, and black people love to harass White people at black events [future post].
Note: Sometimes when White people are overly enthusiastic at these events, this leads to Blacks gaining trust and respect for them. But beware, you will have to embarrass yourself thoroughly before the ridicule turns into anything positive. And they will always regard you as the crazy white guy, not as one of them.
2 responses so far ↓
.MrS.nY. // March 20, 2008 at 2:47 pm
lmao yeah that’s as “on point” as you can get with this one…being that I’m hispanic, I don’t catch as much backlash when I outburst with them at music events, but our white friends. lol wow! do they get ridiculed lol and yes, called the crazy white chick/dude, but all in good fun because we’re friends. now at the movies, when i “shush” my own friends, they give me the stink eye and throw gummy bears at my “good hair” or steal my Icee lol
Chula // March 21, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Girl.. I hate when people are loud at the movies. after i shush them and they dont stop.. I get out of my seat. Proceed to the closest AMC worker w/ a flashlight. Complain. and get a free ticket.
My advice to everyone reading is to avoid any of the following: Tyler Perry Movies (rent it), Friday and Saturday movie times after 9.
After I did this, I pretty much havent had to get cussed out by the 17 year old hood chick w/ the bad weave.
SUCCESS!